Riku's Panties
by TheAlmightyComposer
Summary: Riku was straight. 100 percent, no strings attached, no dark suspicious niggling's gnawing away at the back of his mind. So really, there was no explanation for why Kairi felt the need to give him panties. Soriku, just a little time killer to show that I'm still alive.


**Shugo: what's this? An actual update?! :O **

**Well! I guess this is my way of letting you guys know that I'm still alive, and shall resume properly writing shortly. But in the meantime, have this... whatever it is. Personally, I blame Dream Drop Distance with it's uke Riku :'D  
**

Riku was straight. 100 percent, no strings attached, no dark suspicious niggling's gnawing away at the back of his mind. So really, there was no explanation for why Kairi felt the need to give him _panties_. Unless this was her way of letting him know about one of her secret fetishes and it acted as an invitation, but...

Kairi giggled at his obviously amusing reaction, her pent-up glee leaking out in the form of a smile.

"What's the matter, Riku? Don't you like my present?"

No, he bloody well did _not_ like her present, and she could go shove it up her ass. Well, probably on her ass, since they were panties and all but that was beside the point! She gave a perfectly normal bloke _panties _and was staring like it was the best gift ever! If she expected a thank you, Riku intended to sorely disappoint.

"...They have a heart on them."

"That's the pattern of Kingdom Hearts Riku! It's symbolic!"

"That doesn't explain the zipper that serves _no function at all_."

"It's so your special someone can take them off with their teeth."

"..."

Disturbed at the thought that Kairi had just readily assumed that he had someone who was eager to stick their head in his crotch, Riku inspected his gift again, his embarrassment rising steadily. They were a girls cut... Deep blue, with the curled design of Kingdom Hearts on the front and an almost dainty zipper trailing down the side seam, he had to wonder where she had even found something like this. There was a white 'X' across the rear end too...wait.

"...Kairi..."

"Mmm?"

"Care to explain why the back of these panties matches the rear end of Sora's pants?" His quiet tone portrayed none of his fury, the quiet before the storm. She wouldn't... would she? Kairi, for her part, just clasped her hands together and squealed in delight.

"So you have been staring! I didn't think you'd notice!"

_Oh my fucking God._

Riku exploded into a big ball of hatred and mortification, the meanings that Kairi's gift implied only added fuel to his flustered fire as he tore after her, Way to Dawn carving arcs in front of him as she shrieked with laughter. Like hell he and Sora were anything more than friends! Sure they were...very close, he'd admit it, but there was absolutely no way! The fact that he was blushing like a schoolgirl only added to his desire to maul Kairi, who still found breath to shout back passing remarks about 'Everybody knows it' and 'Sora totally has dibs on your ass anyway, might as well make it official!'

And while he was _totally_ against the idea of any relationship between himself and his best friend, if anything did happen _he_ would be the one placing dibs on Sora's ass, and that was the end of it.

He was finally catching up to her, each step bringing him closer to bringing impending doom upon Kairi's head when a shout from the end of the beach they called home made Riku's heart stop cold.

"Hey, someone mind explaining this?"

Sora stood in front of the abandoned gift box, eyebrows raised as he inspected the panties with a grin on his face, unaware or deliberately ignoring the rapidly growing flush that was spreading over Riku's face. Of all the times for Sora to show up, it had to be when the panties were unguarded and he'd had time to think up his own twisted explanation!

"Um... they're not mine."

Sora just raised an eyebrow at that, picked up the gift tag attached to the box and began to read it aloud.

"_To Riku, do you know how hard it was to find these? You'd better wear them every..."_

"Kairi gave them to me!" Riku mentally slapped himself at the slight note of desperation that'd crept into his voice- oh who was he kidding he'd almost fallen over himself in panic to stop him reading anymore. However this only caused Sora's grin to widen, forcing Riku to elaborate before Sora assumed something _really_ bad...

"She, uh, just gave them to me this morning. Unprovoked. I don't know why. I certainly didn't ask!" Riku spluttered out, growling slightly at the heat that _refused_ to leave his cheeks. Honestly, it wasn't like they were anything more than friends, so it really shouldn't matter. After all, Sora was so innocent that he probably wouldn't draw the connection between the matching patterns on the panties and his own rear end...

"...why do they match my trousers?"

...and of course Riku had forgotten that Sora _wasn't_ the naive little kid that he was when he left the island, he'd grown up and was _more_ than capable of making the connection. Fuck. Goddammit, it was so easy to get all wrapped up in his role of the protective, mature one that he forgot that _Sora_ was the mature one now. Well, sorta. He had his moments. And unlike Riku, he actually earnt his maturity instead of it being forced on him at an early age because 'well, of course Riku is the mature one, he's older! We can rely on him if anything goes wrong to keep his head!'

"Why are you asking me? I didn't buy them!" Kairi looked more and more exited the more flustered Riku got, grinning slightly as she waved a hand in dismissal.

"We~ll, since you two are practically together anyways, I thought it would be nice for you two to match!" she seemed so...chipper about this.

"Kairi, we are not together, and never will be. So will you just stop..."

"Why d'you say that?" Sora's innocent remark threw Riku completely off, actually stumbling forward as the weight of what Sora just said hit him hard. What on earth...

He didn't like Sora.

He was straight.

So the strange butterflies that danced in his stomach were just from embarrassment.

Sora's face stretched into his signature grin, waving the panties above his head. "Well, if we're connected by panties, there's not a force in the universe that can separate us." He sighed dramatically, winking at Riku. "I guess we'll just have to get used to it~"

"Haha, very funny. Wouldn't that only work if I actually _wore_ them?" Riku shot back, grimacing as he fought to get his cheeks back to a normal colour. It was just Sora being Sora, messing around with whatever took his fancy. Today it was panty-destiny bonds, yesterday it was the link between roommates, and tomorrow could be the fated marriage of Leon and Cloud due to them both living in the same town.

...He really needed to stop hanging out with Kairi so much.

"I guess so... looks like Kairi's secret fantasies have been shattered." He swooned dramatically onto the unsuspecting teen, bringing both of the boys to the ground, and Riku could swear that he felt his heart stop. Oh my God, Sora was on top of him. And normally this wouldn't mean anything but they were talking about panty-bonds and Sora was pinning him down rather deliberately and smirking at him and he was on _top_. The flush he'd fought so hard to contain returned tenfold as he kicked Sora off, ignoring the laughter of Kairi and the unfamiliar swirling of his chest.

Riku wasn't stupid, he knew what the 'unfamiliar' sensation meant.

But he was straight.

Right?

I mean, he'd never _thought_ about boys in that way before...

"You awake in there?" Sora called cheekily as he tapped Riku on the head, breaking him out of his dazed reverie.

"Leave him be Sora, can't you see that he's falling deeper under the panty-bond spell? You two will be together forever, bound by the panty law." Kairi sighed happily after that, already lost in the fantasy world that Riku was quite sure she didn't have before Namine was created.

"Like hell. I'm throwing them out, so the panty law will never apply." Kairi gasped at that, slapping Riku round the back of his head in a way that only his close friends could get away with.

"You can't throw them out! They're a gift!" Her shocked argument was backed up by a sage nod from Sora, the brunette earning himself a death glare.

"...Fine. But they're never coming anywhere near my ass, so I don't see what all the fuss is about." Riku grumbled at their shining faces, pissed off that they found so much happiness in making him feel awkward. He expected this from Kairi, as she was...well, Kairi. But Sora as well? "I swear you guys are plotting against me."

Sora faked a gasp as one hand flew to his mouth, blue eyes giving away his merriment. "Why, Riku! I am offended that you even suspect such a thing!"

"...Why does that not reassure me?"

"Relax Riku! Tell you what, we'll promise to leave the panty thing alone, if... you go buy us ice cream!" Riku had to admit, it was a tempting offer...and it gave him a chance to gain control of this stubborn blush and his dignity.

"Fine. Do I even need to ask what flavour?"

"Nope."

"Three Sea Salt ice creams, coming up."

Kairi swallowed her mirth until Riku was far down the beach, watching him kick moodily at the sand before she laughed. And laughed, and laughed, and laughed! She was howling as she latched onto Sora, tears pouring down her cheeks as she relived every glorious second of their encounter. Finally her legs gave out and she dragged Sora down with her, a giggling pile in the sand.

"Oh my God... you should've seen his face!" that was all she could get out before she was off again, chuckling until her sides hurt. Sora flashed a grin at his friend, caught up in the merriment of the moment. That went _way_ better than he expected!

"I'm so miffed I missed him opening it! Ah well, the trick now is getting him into them." Kairi wiped a tear away as she pulled herself upright, returning Sora's smile.

"Good luck with that one. Though shouldn't the trick be getting him _out_ of them?" She teased, poking Sora's cheek. Really, the fact that her two best friends were together (or about to be anyway) was just too cute!

Sora shrugged of the remark with a smile, well comfortable with the gentle ribbing he received once he told Kairi about his fascination with his softly-spoken best friend. Riku had been forced into maturity way too young, and Sora was determined to get him to loosen up! ...and yes, that was in any way that sentence could be interpreted. It was a labour of love, and maybe a little bit of lust.

"Though I have to ask Kairi, where _did _you find those panties?"

Kairi giggled. "Namine made them."

"... I don't want to know, do I."

"Nope~"

**Hehehe. Reviews are welcomed with cupcakes and Riku Rocks! Sankyuu for reading :)**


End file.
